He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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