thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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