if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
