if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
