plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
