True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
