i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Randomize
