Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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