I'm eating all of the evidence.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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