Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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