There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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