his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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