Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
