I got chris browned last night
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
