I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize