If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
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