TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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