I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
P.S. I can't hear my feet
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
