I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
