I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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