I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
