so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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