Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
It's just like the Real World with babies
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
