Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
can u get pink eye on your cock?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
