Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
