We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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