You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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