Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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