Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
