Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
