Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
