The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
