highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
