i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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