His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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