I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
