I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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