New invention idea: vibrating tampons
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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