Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
