Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
