Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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