i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
he puts the penis in happiness.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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