Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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