i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
We're too hungover to prance.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
