Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
