Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
