Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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