This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
