Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
