I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
