I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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