she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
