I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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