definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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