why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
