I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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