too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
