so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
