I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
